As you might know, I applied to three summer programs in Japan. Two in Tokyo, and one in Kyoto. Due to the earthquake, tsunami, and radiation alerts I have basically given up on going to Tokyo. I have been telling everyone “Well, if I got accepted into my Kyoto program then I’d think about it… but I’m pretty sure I won’t get in because they (Columbia U.) think I’m lazy and my Japanese essay was total-woah-fail.”
I got an e-mail today from them…
Congratulations! We are happy to inform you that you have been admitted to study on the KCJS Summer Program in Advanced and Classical Japanese Program during for summer 2011.
I think I’ve reread the first little paragraph like 10 times. I… I can’t believe it. HOW THE CRAP DID I GET ACCEPTED?!?! I know someone who’s Japanese is better than mine and she didn’t get accepted. o_o;; Wh-what the crap? I was basically decided on not going to Japan this summer but… but now I have to think about it… because… I’ve wanted to go since before college. o_o;;;;;; What… do I do…
I kind of want to talk about it… but I kind of don’t at the same time. I want to talk about it and express how happy I feel. But I don’t want to think about what that entails. I don’t really want to hear what people think I should do now too. So, I want to talk about it, but I don’t…. Which is why I posted this here. Because, no one reads this blog!
I feel like I know what certain people’s responses would be. Like, one of my friends would be “Gogogo!” while another friend would be “Well… you know, with the radiation and all. Kyoto isn’t that close but… what if something happens?”
It’s that “what if” that I’m worried about. I… I don’t want to get cancer later on because I wanted to go to Japan that badly despite the fact that things are bad. I mean… I could be getting ahead of myself. I could just wait and find out….. but… I’m still worried.